Quebec Announces Plan to Secede from Earth, Cites "Cultural Differences"
- Staff Writer
- Dec 18, 2023
- 1 min read
In a bold move, Quebec has declared its intention to secede not just from Canada, but from Earth entirely, citing "irreconcilable cultural differences" with the planet. The announcement came shortly after a provincial survey revealed that 99% of Quebecers felt more closely aligned with Martian society than Earth's.
"We've always known we're unique," said Premier Jean Tremblay, wearing a newly designed space suit featuring fleur-de-lis. "Now, it's time to take that uniqueness to a new world."
The ambitious plan involves constructing a giant catapult to launch the entire province into space. "We considered rockets, but we wanted something more culturally symbolic," explained a government spokesperson, referencing the province's historic love for trebuchets.
International response has been mixed, with the UN questioning the logistics and NASA reportedly intrigued by the idea of a new space neighbor. Meanwhile, Quebecers have started practicing zero-gravity poutine eating, in preparation for their new life among the stars.
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